My children

It is obvious through the last post we got a little "off" in our training at some point. The better way to train your children is from the beginning. I am coming from a standpoint of an "older" child who has lost the way. He's getting bigger than me now (oh yes he is...) and spanking him is just not the most efficient way any more, you know what I mean. If I had trained right from the beginning, he would obey promptly - the first time.

Don't get me wrong...he's a great kid!

We've just lost our way a little.

So, this last post was in regard to those who don't know what direction to take from there. I found myself at a loss and started yelling instead of disciplining because I couldn't figure out how to handle this growing boy. God brought me to my knees and reminded me of three very important keys...

1. Humbling myself. Realizing I plenty to be condemned for. This helps me to not condemn my children, but instead help them...instruct, guide and TEACH them.

2. Enjoying my children, playing with them. Finding out what interests them and doing it with them. No doubt if you have a boy ~ bugs, legos, and 'active' stuff is what you'll be doing. :-)

3. Listening to their heart, their thoughts and helping them to correct their thinking even on their own. Giving them freedom to express themselves without feeling like they were going to be in trouble. (At some point we lost that...just being honest here.)



Hope that clears up some thoughts you may have reading the past post.
Thank God for His awesome mercy upon my life.

He is worthy to be praised!!!

Parenting

This post has been months in the making. It has been difficult to put into words all that I wanted to say, hopefully it doesn't read too choppy. ;-)

Take time to listen.


Do you talk down to, lecture or yell at your children?

I've heard it been called a parent tantrum & I love that term!

Have you ever caught yourself in the mirror while you're in the middle of "disciplining" like this?

Scary!

It is never ok to be cold, mean, bitter or angry at your child.

There is a better way!!

One thing that works really well is...talking.


Communication really is key.



In this case I'm not talking about your really young ones, but you can start small to build your relationship with them.

Ask them questions and expect an intellegent answer.

Instead of, "WHY did you do that to your sister?!?!" Really ask. "Son, can you think about what made you do this?" And, most importantly, expect an answer. If they don't answer right away or say they don't know - dig deeper...much, much deeper. Don't let "I don't know" be the answer. Talk it through. "How would you feel if she did that to you?", "What were you trying to accomplish by doing that?" and "How could you have reacted differently?"

Pro 20:5

Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.

There is something very humbling in the eyes of a child. Seeing life through their eyes can do us some good. Listening to their heart is a very important job of a mother...probably the most important.

Our children have been given to us to be cared for. Caring means talking. Discover your children. What makes them think the way they do? Uncover bad thinking and help them work things through.

When I find that my daughter is screaming instead of talking and my son is ignoring instead of talking...it's time for me to get involved in their communication.


When our children have gotten the best of us....
When we have told them over and over and over again to get something done and they STILL haven't done it...
When they are Just. Not. Doing. What. You've. ASKED...
How do we react?
Are we the same as we are when we tuck them in at night?

Is our love conditional?

On the otherhand, we are in charge. It is up to us to take that place of authority. It is hard to not ask them to do something, isn't it? God has convicted me of giving my children too much control and allowing them to make their own decisions. No wonder they struggle with me telling them what to do!

Say a command, say it in love and the best part is doing it... in fun!

"Go make your bed and I'll make mine...we'll see who can do it first!" Most children wouln't agrue or complain in this case. Of course if they do, you may have a bigger problem.

Training them while you are playing is the way it was meant to do! Or let me say this, the more FUN you are as a mom, the more that you enjoy your children and relate to them, the easier it is to train. You have won their hearts and they trust that you "mean them for good."

LET US PUT OUR CHILDREN FIRST!

Take time to play, to talk, to listen AND to train...

Parenting thoughts to live by:

*I cannot give my children what I do not posses myself.

*I will be what I want my children to be, first.

*When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth. ~Author Unknown