Monday, May 19, 2008


This post has been months in the making. It has been difficult to put into words all that I wanted to say, hopefully it doesn't read too choppy. ;-)

Take time to listen.

Do you talk down to, lecture or yell at your children?

I've heard it been called a parent tantrum & I love that term!

Have you ever caught yourself in the mirror while you're in the middle of "disciplining" like this?


It is never ok to be cold, mean, bitter or angry at your child.

There is a better way!!

One thing that works really well is...talking.

Communication really is key.

In this case I'm not talking about your really young ones, but you can start small to build your relationship with them.

Ask them questions and expect an intellegent answer.

Instead of, "WHY did you do that to your sister?!?!" Really ask. "Son, can you think about what made you do this?" And, most importantly, expect an answer. If they don't answer right away or say they don't know - dig deeper...much, much deeper. Don't let "I don't know" be the answer. Talk it through. "How would you feel if she did that to you?", "What were you trying to accomplish by doing that?" and "How could you have reacted differently?"

Pro 20:5

Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.

There is something very humbling in the eyes of a child. Seeing life through their eyes can do us some good. Listening to their heart is a very important job of a mother...probably the most important.

Our children have been given to us to be cared for. Caring means talking. Discover your children. What makes them think the way they do? Uncover bad thinking and help them work things through.

When I find that my daughter is screaming instead of talking and my son is ignoring instead of's time for me to get involved in their communication.

When our children have gotten the best of us....
When we have told them over and over and over again to get something done and they STILL haven't done it...
When they are Just. Not. Doing. What. You've. ASKED...
How do we react?
Are we the same as we are when we tuck them in at night?

Is our love conditional?

On the otherhand, we are in charge. It is up to us to take that place of authority. It is hard to not ask them to do something, isn't it? God has convicted me of giving my children too much control and allowing them to make their own decisions. No wonder they struggle with me telling them what to do!

Say a command, say it in love and the best part is doing it... in fun!

"Go make your bed and I'll make mine...we'll see who can do it first!" Most children wouln't agrue or complain in this case. Of course if they do, you may have a bigger problem.

Training them while you are playing is the way it was meant to do! Or let me say this, the more FUN you are as a mom, the more that you enjoy your children and relate to them, the easier it is to train. You have won their hearts and they trust that you "mean them for good."


Take time to play, to talk, to listen AND to train...

Parenting thoughts to live by:

*I cannot give my children what I do not posses myself.

*I will be what I want my children to be, first.

*When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth. ~Author Unknown

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